( Guess that's that then )

Oh Mr. Big, I'll never be enough will I?



your sad eyes they dont keep me alive
not like they used to
not like they used to
and your cold feet they wont find their way to me
it's not like you want them to
it's not like you want them to
and your big heart, it won't tear me apart
not like it used to
not like it used to

its all about
it's all about
It's all about
it''s all about
what you wanted
am i what you wanted?

your cold hands, are they gonna catch me if you can?
its not like you want them to
its not like you want them to
and your long legs, they could carry you to me
its not like you want them to
its not like you want th
its all about
its all about
its all about
its all about
what you wanted
am i what you wanted?

It's all about you
It's all about you
It's always about you
It's always about you
Its all about
It's all about
What you wanted
am i what you wanted? (repeat 8x)
oh, my love

Every fiber of my being
I used to trust you
I wouldn't believe
If you told me the sky was blue

I give up separating my life
Share my friends, my enemies, share it all
I see the way you use me, discard me
Roll me through your fingers like a ball

I'm partly to blame
I let you do this time and again
I let you manipulate me
and pretend

You keep lying to me even now
I'll never speak to her again
I won't meet her
She's just a friend

Why do you have to be so invested in my life?
Especially when you don't want me in yours?
Three times the charm, right?
Christy, Lisa, Katie, any more?

I can't believe you'd do this yet again
Is this what Angie felt like, when I came along?
Slowly weening me out now?
For the next one that you'll do wrong.

I hate you so much
It kills me
I love you much more
So I still torture myself completely.

I always thought I passed up my one
Wasting too much time on Mr. Wrong
I thought all that disappeared
When you came along

Go ahead, flirt
Meet, I don't care anymore
I just want to get there
And start my life once more

Hope to god there's someone better
Than the one I'm leaving behind
Maybe my biggest mistake yet
Here's hoping the thought leaves my mind
-Tonya 10/01/08



There's a corner of your heart for me.
There's a corner of your heart just for me.
I will pack my bags just to stay in the corner of your heart.
Just to stay in the corner of your heart.

There is room beneath your bed for me.
There is room beneath your bed just for me.
I will leave this town just to sleep underneath your bed.
Just to sleep underneath your bed.

There's one minute of your day.
There's one minute of your day.
I will leave this man just to occupy one minute of your day.
Just to occupy one minute of your day.

Just to sleep underneath your bed.

Just to stay in the corner of you heart.

So I guess it was Katie's idea to ask. She said she would only meet him if it was okay with me. I feel like an ass being uncomfortable with it. She's my friend and he's Mr. Big. I am thinking, he and I have been at this game for 10 months, and she was my friend first, I should be meeting them both first. Or at least he and I meet her the same time.

We had a good talk last night and this morning about it though, which makes me feel better. I'm still shocked he even asked no matter whose idea it was.

I don't know what's more upsetting about last night, the fact he wanted to go, and they talked about it. The fact I knew the moment he said I want a 3-way conversation that this is what would happen. Or the fact as my 'friend' she didn't think to tell me, or ask my opinion on them meeting, before I got to meet either of them!

It just gives me so many questions, how often do they talk then to want to meet so soon? Are they texting? Talking on the phone? Is he one of the ones to her that are the backburner? One of the ones she talks on the phone with, and flirts with, and uses to occupy the time the others are not there. The theory makes sense, keep as many in the picture so you don't have the time to fall in love and get hurt. I sometimes wish I'd have thought of it.

Confession time: I'm a hypocrite. I did what I've been so upset with him about. I omitted the fact that when he said he wouldn't talk to her until I said ok, and the he would drive straight through, I was relieved. I just told him I didn't want to be that person, and I don't. I want to be able to trust him, and say okay, so what if he meets her? Or meets her first. The second part of my confession is this. . .

I still think he'll stop, deep down, in the back of my mind. I think he'll stop. He has to stop in Cedar. He'll get gas or something there and text her or call her and say I'm here.

I hate this. I'm jealous, and insecure, and over-analyzing every little thing. The problem is when I had these thoughts in the back of my head, and thought they were just annoying, they all turned out to be true.

Wouldn't I be an idiot to not listen to them now?