I don't know what's more upsetting about last night, the fact he wanted to go, and they talked about it. The fact I knew the moment he said I want a 3-way conversation that this is what would happen. Or the fact as my 'friend' she didn't think to tell me, or ask my opinion on them meeting, before I got to meet either of them!

It just gives me so many questions, how often do they talk then to want to meet so soon? Are they texting? Talking on the phone? Is he one of the ones to her that are the backburner? One of the ones she talks on the phone with, and flirts with, and uses to occupy the time the others are not there. The theory makes sense, keep as many in the picture so you don't have the time to fall in love and get hurt. I sometimes wish I'd have thought of it.

Confession time: I'm a hypocrite. I did what I've been so upset with him about. I omitted the fact that when he said he wouldn't talk to her until I said ok, and the he would drive straight through, I was relieved. I just told him I didn't want to be that person, and I don't. I want to be able to trust him, and say okay, so what if he meets her? Or meets her first. The second part of my confession is this. . .

I still think he'll stop, deep down, in the back of my mind. I think he'll stop. He has to stop in Cedar. He'll get gas or something there and text her or call her and say I'm here.

I hate this. I'm jealous, and insecure, and over-analyzing every little thing. The problem is when I had these thoughts in the back of my head, and thought they were just annoying, they all turned out to be true.

Wouldn't I be an idiot to not listen to them now?